Mmmm...marker.

The only thing that could make sitting in a small, windowless office for 8 hours straight any worse is the lack of ventilation. Sure, modern downtown office buildings usually don't have windows that open, but something other than a slight drift of chilly air might be a nice idea for air circulation. I just finished using the super-duper Sanford Magnum 44 Marker--the mack daddy of all markers. Roughly the size of a stadium kielbasa, but much easier to write with. I love any office supply with disclaimers.

"DANGER: HARMFUL OR FATAL IF SWALLOWED. VAPOR HARMFUL. COMBUSTIBLE. Contains toluene and xylene. Use only in a well ventilated area. Do not use or store near heat or flame. Avoid contact with eyes or prolonged contact with skin. If swallowed, do not induce vomiting. Call physician immediately. Keep out of reach of children. Do not shake."

Geez, I'm not sure I can handle all the responsibility that comes with using this marker!

p.s. I may have been a bit over-dramatic while writing yesterday's post, but I am still freaked out. If a medical issue does present itself, I'm sure it can be dealt with in a calm, and preferably non-invasive manner. Hell, it could be absolutely nothing!

And to add insult to injury...

I'm probably dying of cervical cancer! Shit! This is NOT what I need right now. I couldn't just be "The girl with the exploding cyst," no, I have to be potentially, royally, fatally messed up.

Work

I am sick, tired and completely fed up with my job. It's a completely dead-end position that I've been slaving away at for over three years and I've just hit my breaking point. The librarian has just emailed something to me that basically says "Hey, guess what? You're incompetent and can't do anything right. I'm sharing your shortcomings with everyone else I CC'd on this email. By the way, you'll be in charge for the next two weeks, don't fuck everything up, but you probably will anyway and we'll be doing damage control for months afterwards." Not in as many words, of course. The condescension here is out of control! Her opinion really doesn't matter to me, but now I'll be pissed off for the rest of the day. I need a vacation and have two remaining weeks stored up, but I always have work on the mind, so what's the use?

I'm inspired to work on my novel, and have made some progress recently, but I also have a beast of a take-home paralegal studies exam to work on due Thursday.

My Mutinous Bod

Okay, what is wrong with my sleep pattern? In bed at 5 AM, awake naturally at 8:50. What gives? I'm tired, cranky and crampy right now. Cranky due to a ordinary foul mood and being peeved at Tim Hortons because my coffee tastes old and burnt--bottom of the pot **Not the greatest experience at the T-Ho's on 8 Mile by Eastland! Beware!** The crampy element is probably due to sitting lady-like for nearly 10 hours (GOOD DATE!)

M. is really sweet and his choice of movies is A+ Last night/this morning we watched The Big Lebowski and Mystery Men. Fun stuff! Plus John seems to like him. A good time had by all.

Lose the back, keep the rack

That's my weight-loss mantra. I carry my weight like a camel; that's better than in the gut, I guess. Of course, once all the surplus tonnage disappears, so will everything else, but I actually don't mind. I don't have any discernible waist or hips, so I'm a little boy-shaped. On the handy Land's End swimsuit guide, my body shape is designated as the rectangle shape, but I guess that's better than being the really hippy triangle shape. Once I lose all the extra pounds, I'll hopefully be a size 2 or 4, but that all depends on my exercise plans.

I'm doing my Weight Watchers online weigh-in tomorrow morning, so I'll be at Bally's to use the accurate medical scale once I wake up, right after I pee, before I drink anything, before I shower and before I have any heavy thoughts. I've already lost one pound, so I'm feeling fairly successful. I've been sticking to this diet religiously for the last two weeks, and I'm not cheating. I had a double cheeseburger for dinner last night at McDonald's, and even though it was 12 Points, I still recorded it. Thank G-D for Flex Points!!! For lunch today it's Lean Cuisine Baked Fish with Cheddar Shells. Yum!! Seriously--it's yum!

Eye Candy

So, me hears from my fan club that millions of my loyal readers are clamoring for more J-Sto information. When will my new fragrance be released? What do I think of the fat ass comments? How did I break into Hollywood as just a short, very pale girl of Polish extraction sans rhythm or any discernible groove? What Netflix movies are you currently watching? My publicists will handle the first three, yet in the interest of staying close to my fans, I'll answer the latter. I LOOOOVE Netflix. For a hair over $20.00 a month, I can rent all the movies I can watch (three at a time.) It's positively wonderful. The three I have at mi casa are:

1. The Shape of Things
2. Girl with a Pearl Earring
3. Little Otik

M. hopefully will be coming over this weekend, perhaps Saturday, to hang out and watch one of these flicks, none of which I have yet watched. If only the damn papparazzi will leave us alone.

Holy Shit, I look just like her!!!

I was leery of this geek test, but now I know for sure what the entire universe has known for years: I'm kinda geeky. It's a proven fact. Oh well, there's worse things in the world.

You are 57% geek

You are a geek. Good for you! Considering the endless complexity of the universe, as well as whatever discipline you happen to be most interested in, you'll never be bored as long as you have a good book store, a net connection, and thousands of dollars worth of expensive equipment. Assuming you're a technical geek, you'll be able to afford it, too. If you're not a technical geek, you're geek enough to mate with a technical geek and thereby get the needed dough. Dating tip: Don't date a geek of the same persuasion as you. You'll constantly try to out-geek the other.

Take the Polygeek Quiz at Thudfactor.com

And now for something completely different: I'm hungry. It's 47 minutes till lunchtime, my attention span is completely shot (thus blogging instead of actually working,) and my office looks like it exploded. It looks like old school Beirut. Rubble and all. Maybe I'll get out the Pledge and dust. Oh, the joys of ADD!

Pimp-Daddy Phone!

After nearly a year of vowing to do so, I have finally upgraded my cell phone! Since this is my only means of communication, and since my previous phone which had served me well for over three years had taken a turn for the worse, this was necessary. I had AT&T since the beginning, but decided to switch to Verizon since Kate uses this provider, and I talk to Kate the most, this makes sense. Although I entered the store yesterday with the intention of purchasing the most bare-bones plan available, I was somehow talked into buying (for only $20.00 more) this pimptastic phone.

This phone is tiny and weighs several ounces less than my previous phone, so I'll probably be losing it on a weekly basis. I'll try to be careful. The alarm function isn't as persistent as the previous phone; I'll have to work with this. Something about it reminds me of Number 5 from "Short Circuit."

Now maybe I'll be able to figure out how to retrieve my messages...

Which city am I?

Here's another something wonderful to find it's way to the LISP listserv. Although I'm no longer on the path of librarian enlightenment, sometimes something interesting occasionally shows up.

Take the quiz: "Which American City Are You?"

New York
You're competitive, you like to take it straight to the fight. You gotta have it all or die trying.

Also, Friday night/Saturday morning's showing of Lawrence of Arabia was grand. I can't believe it! I'm technically seeing a nice guy with manners!!! He was also the only non-relative to wish me a happy birthday! I've invited M. to watch the Detroit Fireworks with me on Wednesday, but I just emailed him this morning and since it's a Monday he's probably busy.

Birthdays Suck!

And so does being 27! I'm now officially no longer in my mid-twenties! And free birthday drinks at local bars are only a college town phenomena.

Behold the Power of the Jinx

Everyone who knows me knows about my belief in the Jinx. According to Dictionary.com, a jinx is "A person or thing that is believed to bring bad luck. Possibly from jynx, wryneck (from its use in witchcraft), from Latin iynx, from Greek iunx, perhaps from iuzein, to call, cry." I don't think of it as a tangible item, but more of a roving black storm cloud. I'm not a witch, but I'm a bit superstitious. Here's an example: apart from Idiot Attorney Boy's mental imbalance and self-centeredness, I'm also attributing the downfall to my bad habit of getting my hopes up and chattering waaaaaay too much about my personal/social life, ergo the jinx got me. Although this blog is basically a semi-public diary, I'm going to limit using my EYF's name, until things become more certain/stable, if they ever do. Then maybe the jinx will start visiting other people and I'll be happy for once.

Plans have been made for tonight! I'm going to M's house to watch "Lawrence of Arabia," which is not the usual date-night movie, but it's a great epic flick anyway. And there is definitely something attractive about a British guy garbed in traditional Arabic attire. I was in a T.E. Lawrence phase throughout my junior and senior years in high school, yet I never did get burnt out. I watched movies, read historical accounts, his books, everything. Yeah, I'm a dork.

It's obivious to M that I like him, I'm sure; maybe I'll get some indication tonight...Although this will be the third time we're hanging out this week, so at the very least, he doesn't mind hanging out with me.

Ugh, this is far more difficult than it should be.

Zzzzzz...

Well, the game was okay. A bit dull, in fact. Maybe it's because I'm not a basketball fan, maybe because the puppy was more interesting than watching sweaty guys run around and demonstrate hand-eye coordination. Either way, the Pistons won the championship last night. I've had my fill of sports for the time being.

Everything seems to be going well with Mike and his friends are pretty cool. It was quite a comfortable atmosphere. I still can't determine whether he likes me or not. Grrr. He hugged me and said I was "warm and soft" but that might be an illusion to my layer of blubber, which reminds me, I should re-start my campaign to "lose the back, keep the rack." After departing from his home at 12:45 or so, I decided to crash at my parent's house. It seemed like a good idea, especially since my left contact was roaming around the back of my eyeball. A bit of a dangerous situation. So, after going to bed at 1:30, waking up at 5:00 and arriving at work at 7:00, my entire day/internal clock is screwed up. I'm planning on crashing hard at 3:00.

Reading Update

I completed Nicholas Sparks' "The Rescue." It wasn't the best novel I've ever read. It wasn't the worst. Maybe some people enjoy reading novels that involve obstacles being overcome and the power of true love. I'm getting out of that phase; I need to clean the warm fuzzies out of my brain. I'm starting on Dalton Trumbo's "Johnny Got His Gun" this afternoon. I've had it for years but for some reason, last night, I finally decided to read it.

Everyone either wants me to dress sexy or sporty for this evening's sporting event/meet the friends escapade. I don't have the wardrobe for either of those options. Now I'm getting nervous.

How Strange

Within the last couple of days, I have become strangely popular! I'm meeting up with Liz (the Lusty Lizzard) and Craig this afternoon for lunch downtown...that is, if they can figure out how to get to Cobo for parking. Hmmm. Then, I was invited to watch the Pistons game at Mike's house tonight...and meet some of his friends! Eek!!! I'm really excited, but I'm not always the best person in the world when it comes to meeting new people, especially a new guy's college buddies. This should prove to be very interesting. I realize I'll be the new girl on display, but there will also be the cats and a puppy to take the attention away from me. Now what the hell will I wear?!?!?

Smitten Kitten

Yesterday was very interesting, but before I go on, I must give props to my homies at Pfizer for their damn fine allergy medication ZYRTEC. On Sunday I met Mike at his house before embarking on our zoo outing. He has two extremely affectionate cats, both of whom I am extremely allergic to. In two or three hours, the Zyrtec I took in the morning had knocked out any allercic reactions I may have had. Wonder Drug!

We spent a lovely afternoon at the zoo, weather was party cloudy and about 80 degrees, all the animals were out and doing their particular animal thangs. We walked around for nearly five hours. Then we had dinner (Artichoke, black olive and fresh garlic pizza) and drinks at Como's in Ferndale, and back to his place at 8:30 for more conversation and to watch the Piston's game. I left at 10:45, wayyyyy past my bedtime, but all is cool. He wants to see me again sometime this week! Eeeek! He even emailed me this morning! I'm glowing like a smitten teenager, but these beginning days are always fun! I think he's interested in me, I'm pretty sure, but I have been fooled before.

Why am I reading this shat?

In order to become a more well-rounded individual, I have decided to take a break from Catch-22 and Dr. Zhivago and start reading some more "mainstream" titles. This weekend, I shall sink my teeth into the fourth Harry Potter book (which I'm quite looking forward to) and, er, um, uh...A Nicholas Sparks novel.

I read one of his novels about a year ago and shortly afterwards experienced internal bleeding. My eyes also filled up with blood and I started coughing up a black, tar-like substance. Okay, it wasn't all that bad, but it was pretty sappy and simple. I'm reading "The Rescue" and already on page 52, I can totally foresee the ending. Perhaps it won't be all that bad, but I'm not holding my breath. The author's picture on the dust cover also threw me--The writing reminded me of an Andy Griffith-esque old man, not a guy looking like an old preppy kid.

This reading will not bode well on my writing plans. If I start writing the literary equivalent of Celine Dion schmaltz, someone please put me out of my misery.

Stupid friend survey

Although they are a waste of time, I kinda like doing these surveys.

THE BASICS*~
Your Name-Jennifer Anne S.
Nicknames-Jen
Birthday-June 20, 1977

~*HAVE YOU??*~
Been kissed? Yes
Eaten an entire package of Oreos? Yes
Been on stage? Yes
Gotten in a car accident? Yes
Death Valley on horseback? No
Stayed home? Yes
Made homemade fudge? No
Seen the Eiffel tower? No

~*FAVORITES*~
Shampoo: Pantene
Soap: Dove with exfoliating granules
Color: Green
Day: Friday
Night: Friday
Band: Pixies
Season: Autumn
Commercial: GE commercial with the computer geek and the model.
~*YOUR FRIENDS*~
Do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend? No
Do you have a crush on someone: With a vengeance
Do you have a best friend? Not really
Do you rank your speed dial in order of favorite friends? No
Who's your funniest friend? ??
Who do you go to the mall with the most? No one
Who do you e-mail the most? Kate
Who have you known the longest of your friends? Liz
Who's the loudest? Stephanie
Who's the shyest? ??
Whose parents do you know the best? Stephanie and Becky's
Who do you go to for advice? No one
Who knows all your secrets? No one
Who do you get the most surveys from? Gina
Who are you jealous of? Attorneys my age
Who do you cry with? No one
What is your usual quote? $300/hr.

~*IN THE LAST 24 HOURS HAVE YOU*~
Cried? No
Eaten fluf? Assuming this is marshmallow creme, no.
Helped someone? Yes
Bought something? Yes
Dissected something? Strangely enough, yes
Cut your hair? No
Worn a skirt? Yes
Worn a tie? No
Been mean? Yes
Been sarcastic? Yes
Gone for a run? No
Gone for a walk? Yes
Gone to the movies? No
Gone out for dinner? Yes
Been kissed? No
Felt stupid? Yes
Said "I love you"? No
Written a letter? Yes
Written a paper? No
Taken a test? No
Met someone new? No
Moved on? Yes
Written in a journal? Yes
Watched your favorite movie? Yes
Talked to someone you have a crush on? Yes
Given someone a present? No
Missed someone? Yes
Hugged someone? No
Had a nightmare? No
Fought with your parents? No
Fought with a friend? No
Been Scared? Yes

~*WHENS THE LAST TIME YOU*~
Showered? This morning at 6:45
Ate a meal? Last night's beer and popcorn during the Piston's game
What are you wearing right now? Olive green long skirt, white linen shirt, brown sandals.
Are you tired? Yes
Are you lonely? Yes
Are you happy? Not really
Are you wearing pajamas? No
Are you hungry? Yes
Are you eating? No
Are you talking to someone online? No
Are you ready for this survey to end? Yes
How long did this survey take you? 8 minutes
*Do you want all your friends to do this and send back? Yes

WELL YOU'RE NOT DONE!!!....

>>>>FAVORITE STUFF>>>>

Type of sandwich: Olive loaf on fresh bakery bread
Coffee or hot chocolate? Coffee
Cold or hot weather? Cold
Big or little? Big
Lace or satin? Satin
Red or blue? Blue
New or old? New
Here or there? There


OK YOU'RE DONE!!!!!

Names part 2.

Whilst dreaming away the time before lunch, I decided to add Vivian to the list. Shortening it to "Viv" would be just plain stupid, so it still falls into the 'perfect name' category.

Names

As I was driving down Jefferson this morning, listening to the Pixies and drinking my Panera Bread coffee, I officially decided on four winning baby names: Miriam, Matilda, Lydia, and Julian. 3 girls and a boy. These are perfect--uncommon but not strange and difficult to shorten into a nickname. Maybe when I'm 40 and adopt a pile of kids from a Polish orphanage I'll be prepared name-wise.

An hour later...

I'm feeling much better now.

Not having a good day...

My last two posts were just basic little quizzes that I found interesting and educational (since I now know how to get images on the page.) It's not that I'm suffering from a lack of issues to write about, it's just the opposite. I'm cursed with an abundance of ideas, unfortunately most of which fall into the "surly, nasty, bad attitude" category. Hell, since the chosen few have ever wandered onto this page, I'll give myself permission to rant and rave.

In eleven days, I will be turning 27 years old. 27 years boils down to 9861.75 days. Apart from the 1461 days spent learning how to talk, walk, and gain bladder control, I've spent the rest in educational settings or in some kind of semi-professional situation. Now I'm stalled.

When I started at Central nine years ago, I was pre-law. Technically, I graduated pre-law as well. If my initial plans were followed, I will have graduated at 22, finished law school at 25, and would probably have a nice job that would involve responsibilities, financial stability and a decent wardrobe. But alas, no. Things never work out the way you plan. I'm turning 27 with a job that only requires the ability to alphabetize, an outdated wardrobe, and a crappy, cheap, yet overpriced apartment. I have no peers at all and not even any close friends nearby. I'm unhappily single. I'm considering moving back home with my parents. I'm really depressed today thinking about this. Hell, it's 80 degrees outside and sunny, yet I'm in my cold office typing away feeling sorry for myself.

Even if I stuck with my library science degree, I would have a better existance by now, but of course, no. And I have at least 1.5 years left on the paralegal degree, but I can't see the light at the end of the tunnel.

Man, what a stinker of a day I'm having today. I need a hug. Unfortunately, this attitude/outlook will probably last for the next couple of months, unless something good comes along--like a mood elevator or a social life.

Another thing: I hate computer dating. Although it's relatively easy and convenient, it's also soooo enlightening, in rotten ways. I checked my profile this morning to see how many times my profile had been checked out (1450) and out of curiousity I checked to see when Mike had last been logged on. He was active within 24 hours. Of course, so had I, but I'm a bit insecure right now. I need to get a life, or a hobby, or something to keep my brain occupied. He does seem interested in me, but who knows. Maybe he's got other dates lined up. After all this time, I'm quite used to rejection, but it doesn't get any easier. Why can't I make my brain slow down!?!?

I will snap out of this. I'm going outside for lunch. Ciao.

What Movie do I Belong In?

Hmmm. Interesting indeed. Okay, who in this situation am I? ET or Elliot? Probably not Drew Barrymore, probably not the older brother. It's been about 15 years since I put myself through the agony of watching this; I'm not planning on watching it anytime soon. I remember going to see this with Kate and our cousin Karen. I vividly remember Kate sobbing in the ladies room at Eastland Theater "Why did ET have to go home?!?!?" As far as alien movies go, I prefer "Close Encounters of the Third Kind."


E.T.!


What movie Do you Belong in?(many different outcomes!)
brought to you by Quizilla

Birth Month Quiz

This is pretty cool, especially the part about catching colds!

JUNE:
Thinks far with vision. Easily influenced by
kindness. Polite and
soft-spoken. Having lots of ideas. Sensitive.
Active mind. Hesitating, tends
to delay. Choosy and always wants the best.
Temperamental. Funny and
humorous. Loves to joke. Good debating skills.
Talkative. Daydreamer.
Friendly. Knows how to make friends. Abiding. Able
to show character. Easily
hurt. Prone to getting colds. Loves to dress up.
Easily bored. Fussy. Seldom
shows emotions. Takes time to recover when hurt.
Brand conscious. Executive.
Stubborn.
_________________________________


What does your birth month say about you?
brought to you by Quizilla

I'm cold!

According to the "Live Detroit River Webcam by the Great Lakes Maritime Institute from the Dossin Great Lakes Museum on Belle Isle" (that's a mouthful) it is currently 82 degrees outside. On Channel 7 this morning, I was informed that it could reach 91 degrees today. Keeping all this in mind, I shlepped myself outside to read and returned about fifteen minutes later because I was chilly. Not that this office is balmy either: I have goosebumps and a runny nose. If I'm getting sick, there will be serious hell to pay. I'm blaming John for this one; it's probably a reptile virus. Damn.

I've got to recover by Sunday! I'm going to the Detroit Zoo with Mike! Yippee. Now, what to wear... I have a nice khaki skirt, maybe a white shirt, but I'll probably look like someone dressing for safari, and I'm not going to be that dork this time!

Zounds!

For the first time in a few months, I had a bona fide date! A real, pre-arranged meeting with definite plans! A definite prospect who was extremely gentlemanly, mannerly, and more than willing to pick up the check! What more to ask for in a fella! In a nutshell, here's what we did:

Whistler exhibit at the DIA 1:00 pm, coffee, chatting, strolling around the Medical Center, beers, bowling, Royal Oak, more strolling, "Super Size Me" at the Main, more strolling, resist the temptation of the hookah, tea (in liquid form) then farewell at 1:00 am.

Quite a lovely time!! I really hope to see him again, yet I AM NOT getting my hopes up, only to be dashed soon afterwards. With the past few guys, after the first date, I've thought giddily "I'm going to marry him" but not this time, well yes this time but not exactly. Instead I can honestly see something real developing; a real friendship leading to something else. We have so much in common and that's a rarity for me. Plus the fact that he has an evil streak is a bonus. ;)

Revelation

It's been in front of me for so long! I'll start writing again! I think I stopped because of Stupid Attorney Boy's opinion. I have so many ideas; one is bound to be a success! Here's the skinny on one of the stories--just the basics. 20-something girl, freshly dumped, discovers psychic/telekinetic powers and true love. Chic lit marries sci-fi. How does that sound? Anyone? Liz?

Damn it's a slow day at work, as I'm sure you have already gathered.

Work and Life

Perhaps I need to reevaluate my choice of favorite movies. Last night I watched Secretary again, and although it's not the most mainstream romantic comedy out there, something about this movie speaks to me. Maybe it's the fact that my job is so unbelievably dull. Maybe it's my tedious day- to-day routine. Maybe it's my wish for an exotic guy to arrive and shake me out of my comfort zone. Who knows? I just love this movie. My sister hated it. It's one of those movies where either you love it or hate it. At my firm, I can't think of an E. Edward Grey equivalent, but, of course, I'm not a secretary and everyone treats me fairly nicely because I help them find obscure titles and missing materials.

Not that I'd love getting flogged by a superior...

Confusion

I'm not sure what I'm doing. Should I keep going at Oakland and eventually become a paralegal? Should I return to Wayne State and become a librarian? Is there a third option??? Am I choosing a career just because of the money? I'm not sure I'll ever find job satisfaction and this is freaking me out. I'm jamming my free time with stupid activities hoping to discover a hobby that will make up for my dull, lifeless workplace existance.

On Tuesday, I'll be starting knitting classes. It's no longer an old lady hobby (or so I've been told) and perhaps I'll be able to make Christmas and birthday presents with more of a personal touch! The classes are held at The Wool and the Floss in Grosse Pointe, just off of Kercheval so when I'm finished with each class, maybe I can stop by The Pointe Peddlar and get a ham and cheese croissant for dinner. Mmmmm.

Sit Spirit! Stay Spirit! Roll over! Good Spirit!

Last night/this morning I had a really strange waking dream. I could've sworn that I was completely awake, but I couldn't move. Not at all. I couldn't lift my head or any appendages. Later I remember desperately trying to reach out and throw something from my bed, and SOMETHING GRABBED MY WRIST! I screamed and instantly woke up, or at least was able to move.

The first person I mentioned this to was my New-Age buddy Yvonne at work. She said, as if this was the most normal thing in the world, "Oh, that was just your spirit entering your body. That's why you couldn't move. They leave and roam around at night." Apparently I grabbed my own wrist but since the spirit was AWOL, my sense of touch was impaired. Maybe telling her wasn't such a great idea after all. She also told me something about the Venus eclipse and how my powers of telepathy are going to be increased in the coming weeks. Great. Now I won't just be thinking that people are talking behind my back--I'll know it!! :)

Should I be flattered or freaked?

Upon checking my Match.com profile this morning, I discovered that my profile has been viewed 1398 times since mid April. Have 1398 separate guys checked me out, or is one creepy stalker viewing my profile over and over and over and over???