Thursday, December 30, 2004

New Year's Resolutions...

Last year, I actually stuck to my resolution and lost some weight. This year, I hope to keep the streak alive. Here are the resolutions de year (what's year in French?) um... de l'année?

-Work on getting toned.
-Go to Bally's on a regular basis.
-Run a marathon.
-Make definite steps toward finishing my master's.
-Find a hair color I can be happy with (although my dark blonde is growing on me--as long as the roots aren't visible.)
-Save more money.
-Take a real vacation.

Those are do-able, no?

Wednesday, December 29, 2004

This is getting quite disturbing...

I was just informed that I'm the "Penthouse Librarian." I didn't have the heart to argue that I'm not yet finished with my degree...why must I be the topic of these discussions? And why aren't I more irritated?!? I'm actually flattered!

On another note: my New Year's Resolution is to get fit and toned. Part of that will be achieved by visiting the batting cage down the street. I'm sure I'll get a decent upper arm/back workout by doing that. And it's outdoors. And it's biking distance! Unfortunately, they open April 15th. I really need to get in shape. I'm falling asleep right now. My lunch is almost over and I feel like a siesta. My metabolism is all messed up thanks to holiday eating/pigging out!

Monday, December 27, 2004

One more thing...

Friday was the 2 year anniversary of my Jeopardy! episode airing. None of my family asked me about it! The healing has begun! If only the same can be said for at work...


This weekend, as I was laying in bed eating pumpkin seeds, reading "America: The Book" from the Daily Show and watching "Good Eats" it hit me: I really am not looking to date anyone right now--not that any guys are beating down my door. I'm finally comfy in my own skin and I don't feel like compromising for just some guy. Then, this morning in the shower (where all the best thinking of the day takes place) I realized that if I found someone, my chances of relocation are somewhat diminished. I don't want to compromise for anyone. I need to get the wanderlust out of my system! Also, for the first time in a long time I do not have a pathetic crush tearing me apart. Mr. Former Workplace Crush is history, but all in all, it was fun.

Onto another topic: Christmas. I was extremely blessed this year with goodies! Here is a short list of my presents:

Lilac sweater set
Chunky pearl-like necklace
Turtle stash box
2 Black t-shirts
Nail clipper set
"Pirate jewelry" pendant
Cashmere scarf and gloves
Super-warm mittens
"The Rule of Four"--which I shall start after I finish Dr. Zhivago.
and with money from Grandma and Grandpa--a cute pair of high-heel buckle shoes and "America: The Book"

I hope everyone liked what I bought for them.

Here's another something wonderful. For some reason, I have recently decided to embrace my inner sci-fi/unexplained phenomena geek. Within the last few weeks, I've been strangely interested in UFOs, ghosts, ESP and communication with the dead. I don't know what it is, but it's been a good five years since my last foray into this subject matter. It does pertain to the book I'm preparing to write, but now it's starting to affect my home life. Mom won't consider anything even vaguely paranormal and my parents are both telling me to act normal and find a boyfriend. *See paragraph #1!* I don't know exactly what this is but it's a phase that I find myself entertaining every five years or so.

Thursday, December 23, 2004

Snow Day!!!

I'm really loving me some snow today! My dad (and for some reason his old air force buddy Mr. Steve who was on the phone last night chiming in with advice) thought that taking the super-depressing Van Dyke bus route would be a good idea on a snow-covered day like today. I guess it was a good idea, but damn...that route is so unbelievably depressing. In a 10-mile stretch, I am witness to the bleakest show on earth. I probably should've made a list-o-lowness during my drive. I'll make one on my way back. It will include vacant arson houses, roving packs of dogs, hookers and/or pimps, suspicious transactions and dealings, and maybe vacant businesses. Actually, I will make this list!

It's a slow day here. So far I've delivered a few presents to friends, snacked on a small cinnamon roll and a handful of red and green M&M's, did the mail, found some nice Jello recipes for Christmas Eve, and had a disturbing conversation with a secretary about the horrors of wearing a thin bra on a cold day at work. Since it's still snowing fairly steadily, we are all hoping to be let out early...yet I'm not holding my breath.

Here's a shout-out to Liz regarding the Indigo Child post. Yes, I know, I know, I know this is all totally bunk. There's a small part of me that needs to feel like I'm special and different...okay, most of me wants to feel this way. Everyone who reads the criteria can say "Yeah, that's me! I'm special! I'm really somebody" I know my family would love to attribute my diagnosed ADD to me being an alien, but that would just be their way of explaining their nerdy, scattered, oddball daughter. I'm not an alien, just the black sheep. And thanks for the pup comment. It made me smile!

Wednesday, December 22, 2004


I just had the following conversation with a coworker who shall remain anonymous:

Coworker: No one's going to be here tomorrow. It's going to be dead, especially if we get the 10 inches of snow predicted.
Me: I'm going to be here tomorrow!
Coworker: I meant no one important.
Me: Ouch! The truth hurts!

The entire South-East Lower Michigan area is expecting 8-10 inches of snow by Friday, which will be a major pain in the ass for Kate who's driving in tomorrow from West Virginia. If we get the full amount of snow, I'm officially making tomorrow "work place casual Thursday." There's no way in hell I'm wearing dress shoes and tights in the slush. This shall put a crimp in my Christmas Eve wardrobe choices. Every year we have a semi-traditional Polish Christmas Eve party at my grandparents and it is a dress-up occasion. Since I've lost some of my surplus tonnage, I wanted to wear this awesome red totally retro Goodwill dress, but the look might be ruined with the precipitation and I'll be forced to wear something sweater-ish. I really do need to look good this year. Last year I wore an Indian print maternity shirt which I though looked sweet. In fact, in pictures I looked about 6 months along. The fact that I was drinking all night probably didn't look too good to casual, non-related observers. I'll make up for it this year.

Tuesday, December 21, 2004

It's the little things...

Dear Diary,

This morning, I was told that I'm too smart to be a paralegal (although that sentence structure is mentally questionable.) I have a meeting at Wayne State this afternoon to discuss my Master's degree progress. It should be really interesting. I need to finish this degree. I'm getting too old. My age is really creeping up. I'm 27 and really should have some kind of plan for my life. At least a career goal. I need a back-up if the FBI or air force don't pann out. I don't really look my age. My mom officially said I look 23. I'm not complaining.

Also, I've been doing some reading on the topic of "Indigo Children." It's really difficult to explain, but I'm most certaintly an "Indigo Adult" Here are the criteria:

Are You an Adult Indigo?
Yes, You can be an adult Indigo. They did not JUST start coming in now, the numbers have just been increasing more and more til there are so many we finally can not ignore them. Yeay!!! Are you an adult Indigo?

I believe Adult Indigos have these characteristics:

--Are intelligent, though may not have had top grades.
--Are very creative and enjoy making things.
--Always need to know WHY, especially why they are being asked to do something.
--Had disgust and perhaps loathing for much of the required and repetitious work in school.
--Were rebellious in school in that they refused to do homework and rejected authority of teachers, OR seriously wanted to rebel, but didn't DARE, usually due to parental pressure.
--May have experienced early existential depression and feelings of helplessness. These may have ranged from sadness to utter despair. Suicidal feelings while still in high school or younger are not uncommon in the Indigo Adult.
--Have difficulty in service-oriented jobs. Indigos resist authority and caste system of employment.
--Prefer cooperative efforts, leadership positions, or working alone.
--Have deep empathy for others, yet an intolerance of stupidity.
--May be extremely emotionally sensitive including crying at the drop of a hat (no shielding) Or may be the opposite and show no expression of emotion (full shielding).
--May have trouble with RAGE.
--Have trouble with systems they consider broken or ineffective ie. political, educational, medical, and legal.
--Alienation from or anger with politics - feeling your voice won't count and that the outcome really doesn't mattter.
--Frustration with or rejection of the traditional American dream - 9-5 career, marriage, 2.5 children, house with white picket fence, etc.
--Anger at rights being taken away, fear and/or fury at "Big Brother watching you."
--They feel a burning desire to do something to change and improve the world. May be stymied what to do. May have trouble identifying their path.
--Have psychic or spiritual interest fairly young - in or before teen years.
--Had few if any Indigo role models.
--Have strong intuition.
--Random behavior pattern or mind style - (symptoms of Attention Deficit Disorder), may have trouble focusing on assigned tasks, may jump around in conversations.
--Have had psychic experiences, such as premonitions, seeing angels or ghosts, out of body experiences, hearing voices.
--May be electrically sensitive such as watches not working and street lights going out as you move under them, electrical equipment malfunctioning and lights blowing out.
--May have awareness of other dimensions and parallel realities.
--Sexually are very expressive and inventive OR may reject sexuality in boredom or with intention of achieving higher spiritual connection. May explore alternate types of sexuality.
--Seek meaning to their life and understanding about the world May seek this through religion or spirituality, spiritual groups and books, self-help groups and books.
--If they find balance they may become very strong, healthy, happy individuals.

Sunday, December 12, 2004

Thanks a ton, Daddy...

Yesterday, I was chatting with my dad and discussing my future career options. We somehow wandered onto the topic of the Air Force (I think weight loss and BMI numbers were involved) and now I'm also considering joining up after I finish the library science degree! I would take the officer's exam and hope my test-taking skills are functioning at high power. I could be assigned to cryto. perhaps, if I'm far enough removed from Poland. Apparently, being a first generation American knocked many people out (like my dad) of competition for the hot, dandy, highly-sought after positions. Maybe as a second generation, I could make it!

I'm getting rather superficial in my old age. After our stunning career conversation, my only question was "will they make me cut my hair?" Hey, it's finally getting long and decent looking again!

Friday, December 10, 2004

Vitamin deficiencies and other joys...

Oh, this is not good. Throughout the past several years, I have been experiencing really intense, long-lasting food cravings. The most recent ones include: bacon, Olga's meat (lamb, I think) and now the craving de jour is kapusta or sauerkraut to you non-Polish food coniseurs. The bacon one was rather nice. I kept Kosher for nearly a year and decided to go absolutely "hog wild"--pardon the pun. I couldn't get enough bacon! I'd walk to Shish Kebob on weekend mornings, sit in my little back-of-the-restaurant booth and order coffee, rye toast and a large order of bacon, and read for a nice, long time. Mmmmm. Last December I decided to try the Atkin's Diet and decided to eat only bacon. Two days into this experiment, I started developing the symptoms of gout!

I've found that the Olga meat craving is easily overcome. When I go to Olga's, I only get an original with no tomato, light sauce, regular onions and extra meat. Curly fries are sometimes involved. That's usually a $10.00 meal, so it's a special occasion craving.

This kapusta crave is really weird. At Nino Savaggio's (sp?) a few weeks ago I had a free sample of kielbasa and kapusta. The sausage wasn't Kowalski, so eh, but the little bit of cabbage in the sample cup had pushed me into another crave. It's a biggie! I had a giant spoonful of kapusta straight from the jar right before bed last night. I'm craving it right now!!!

And now for something completely different. I need to figure out how to do a pull-up. I've never had the upper-body strength before, but the FBI Physical Fitness Test is starting to intrigue me. As of right now, I could be expected to score maybe an 8, so although I've lost weight, I still am in suck-ass physical shape.

"Special Agent applicants are expected to arrive at the FBI Academy in excellent physical condition. The FBI currently uses a four event Physical Fitness Test (PFT) to assess the level of fitness of Special Agent applicants and Special Agent trainees. The four events and the order they are administered are as follows: 1) one minute sit-ups, 2) a 300 meter sprint, 3) maximum push-ups, and 4) a one and one half mile (1.5 mile run). The FBI chose these four events for the PFT because they accurately measure an individual's overall fitness level relative to the essential tasks performed by FBI Special Agents. In order to pass the PFT, Special Agent applicants and Special Agent trainees must achieve a minimum cumulative score of 12 points with at least one point in each of the four events."

The scoring scales for males and females for each event of the PFT are set forth below

Scoring Scale for One-Minute Sit-ups
Females Males
Score Range Range
-2 29 and below 31 and below
0 30-34 32-37
1 35-36 38
2 37-40 39-42
3 41-42 43-44
4 43-46 45-47
5 47-48 48-49
6 49-50 50-51
7 51-52 52-53
8 53-54 54-55
9 55-56 56-57
10 57 and over 58

Scoring Scale for 300 Meter Sprint (in seconds)

Females Males
Score Range Range
-2 67.5 and over 55.1 and over
0 67.4-65.0 55.0-52.5
1 64-9-62.5 52.4-51.1
2 62.4-60.0 51.0-49.5
3 59.9-57.5 49.4-48.0
4 57.4-56.0 47.9-46.1
5 55.9-54.0 46.0-45.0
6 53.9-53.0 44.9-44.0
7 52.9-52.0 43.9-43.0
8 51.9-51.0 42.9-42.0
9 50.9-50.0 41.9-41.0
10 49.9 and below 40.9 and below

Scoring Scale for Push-ups

Females Males
Score Range Range
-2 4 and below 19 and below
0 5-13 20-29
1 14-18 30-32
2 19-21 33-39
3 22-26 40-43
4 27-29 44-49
5 30-32 50-53
6 33-35 54-56
7 36-38 57-60
8 39-41 61-64
9 42-44 65-70
10 45 and over 71 and over

Scoring Scale for 1.5 Mile Run (in minutes:seconds)

Females Males
Score Range Range
-2 15:00 and over 13:30 and over
0 14:59-14:00 13:29-12:25
1 13:59-13:35 12:24-12:15
2 13:34-13:00 12:14-11:35
3 12:59-12:30 11:34-11:10
4 12:29-11:57 11:09-10:35
5 11:56-11:35 10:34-10:15
6 11:34 -11:15 10:14-9:55
7 11:14-11:06 9:54-9:35
8 11:05-10:45 9:34-9:20
9 10:44-10:35 9:19-9:00
10 10:34 and below 8:59 and below

Scoring Scale for Pull-ups

Females Males
Score Range Range
0 0 0-1
1 1 2-3
2 2 4-5
3 3 6-7
4 4 8-9
5 5 10-11
6 6 12-13
7 7 14-15
8 8 16-17
9 9 18-19
10 10 and over 20 and over

So, from now on, I shall try to get my tushie out of bed early and exercise in the morning. So long Mr. Snooze Button. Hello bitter arctic early morning blasts of wind and snow!

Thursday, December 09, 2004

Agent Jen: Special Library Investigator

Things have been changing lately. My ever-evolving career plan has decided to take a new, yet old twist. I'm now planning on finishing my library science degree, get a job at a library somewhere, and work on joining the FBI. Yes, yes, I can imagine everyone who knows me well thinking "Um, okay...wasn't that your grand plan during high school? Back during your 'Silence of the Lambs' plase? Or was that your 'Twin Peaks' phase? Or was that during your 'X-Files' phase?" I shall answer all your internal wonderings right now--Shut the hell up!!! :)

Generally, the FBI is looking for people with degrees in law enforcement, accounting, and the physical sciences, but there is a category in which I might fit in:

"To qualify under the Diversified Program, you must have a BS or BA degree in any discipline, plus three years of full-time work experience, or an advanced degree accompanied by two years of full-time work experience."
Okay, they did say ANY discipline. I've got a BS in journalism and art history. Yeah, that realy doesn't get me anywhere. BUT I'll have a master's with 4+ years of full-time work experience. That just might cut it!

Maybe, just maybe I want to be a librarian with a gun?

Friday, December 03, 2004

I was taking my shower this morning, and as always was doing my best thinking of the day. I started compiling all the guys I've talked to/had at least one dinner date with all year. 2004 was certaintely the year for the wasting time with useless guys. I shall use only initials, to protect the lame-o's (and the one or two decent guys in the mix.)

1. K. Nice guy, 5 dates or so, only friendly; just wasn't interested in me.
2. J. Had a nice lunch date at Greektown. Never heard from him again.
3. M. Talked with him on the phone twice, I think. He was pretty stupid.
4. J. Smart, Roeper School guy. Touched my hair during dinner (creepy) and told me the saga of his gay father. A bit of a turnoff. On the upside--great dinner of chicken torteloni.
5. G. Uber loser. Hung out with for a few weeks, then he disappeared. Complete cheapskate and total turd-licker.
6. M. Very nice guy with cute cats and deep emotional problems. Disappeared.
7. T. Nice guy, had 3+ hour dinner date. We got along really well, never heard from him again.
8. C. Completely self-centered name-dropper; I had a bowl of salmon corn chowder--Mmmm! I missed his last call and never called back.
9. CC. Total asshole.
10. R. Only talked on the phone. Has no future goals and/or aspirations. Criticized me for having plans and for thinking about my future.
11. M. Super nice guy, too busy with work to date.
12. S. Nice guy; one sushi date, never heard from him again.

Not one serious thing in over a year. At least I did get a few free dinners and movies! Maybe I've got the beginnings of a chick-lit novel with all this "research."

Thursday, December 02, 2004

Oh, that's not me...

The picture I have on my dashboard area and on the "Brain Log" isn't me. It's a 30+ year old picture of Cybil Sheppard. I've been told numerous times that I closely resemble her, when she was in her twenties. I've also been told that I resemble Christine Taylor (of "Hey Dude" and Brady Bunch movies fame) and an intoxicated guy at a party last spring said I resembled Alicia Silverstone.

In 1997, I was told that I resembled Louise Woodward, the English baby-shakin' au pair nanny who was in the news. She had a remarkably fat face at the time. So did I. I think we both attributed the look to a bad hairstyle.


I found a dress!!! It's black with thin spaghetti straps, pink netting at the hem and a pink frufru at the bust line. And as an added bonus, it fits and looks good.

I modeled it for my mom yesterday while she was working in "Intimates." She looked at me with a strange look on her face. Here's what the conversation was like:
ME: What?
MOM (with a puzzled look on her face): Nothing.
ME: What?
MOM: It looks nice, it's just that...
ME: You're just not used to seeing me in a dress like this. I never went to any homecomings, or proms, or cotillions, or coming-out parties (debutante or gay.) You're used to Kate showing this much skin, not me.
MOM: Yeah, that's why the dress looks like that on you. It's very 1950's.
ME (jumping): And I don't need a bra, do I?

And anyone who ventured into the fitting room learned that, no, I don't need a bra with this dress. The pink frufru covers both form and function.