From today's edition of The Onion:
80 Percent of All Hermits Recovering From Broken Hearts
AMHERST, MA—According to conclusions reached by researchers at the University of Massachusetts, four-fifths of the world's dedicated recluse population were once luckless in love. "We have conclusively linked heartsickness to the behavior of dwelling in remote mountaintop caves, in bramble-covered forest huts, and on nameless unmapped islands," professor of solitary psychology Ludwig Meyer said Monday. "The loss of a lifetime's one true love seems to be enough to drive some people into splendid isolation in arctic regions and trackless jungle wilds." The study noted that the remaining 20 percent of hermits were driven from human contact by the desire to run naked around the woods, urinating though their knee-length beards.
Yes, I did hear back from Mr. Saturday Night Date, but he only responded to my "I had a great time" email with a short message that seemed a bit obligatory. He's busy, I know that for sure, but I get the feeling that he's not interested in me anymore.
What the hell am I doing wrong???