Wednesday, April 20, 2005

Chill...

The general consensus among my friends at work is that Mr. Date might possibly still be interested in me, but that I need to settle down and not seem too insecure and needy. My friend Denise said something to the effect that if he's not interested, he'll be missing out on the best person in the world. I got a bit misty after she said that. I need to work on my self-confidence issues. I need a total makeover, inside and out. Since this time last year, I've shed twenty five pounds. It doesn't sound like much, but on a small-boned, 5'2" body the loss is really noticeable. I'm looking better than ever, but inside I'm still the same overweight, gawky, lonely girl I always was.

Yes, I know it was just one date and I shouldn't be getting my hopes up. At the same time, I rarely find anyone I have even one thing in common with. This time it just seemed different.

For all I know, he's reading this. Who knows? If so, welcome to the truth about me.

As of right now, I'm no longer writing about him in this blog. I've got other things I should be worrying about: school, career, my future unemployment and the fact that I can't find another job. The thought that I should explore the world of teaching is another thing that is scaring the hell out of me at the present time.

10 comments:

Vavoom said...

Your friend is right. Easy does it in these situations. Focusing on things of greater import sounds like a fantastic and healthy idea. Of course, you know this -- who you are has nothing to do with what you do or what you look like. From that attitude springs a wealth of confidence.

Vavoom said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Jen said...

Thanks Vavoom, and I do know it. What's on the inside is what counts...it's just all my past disappointments and failures are piling up and I'm starting to drown. I have no shortage of issues to devote my time to stressing over!

Damn, I need a vacation.

Vavoom said...

My father used to tell me, "Success is a consequence of good judgement. Good judgement is a consequence of experience. Experience is a consequence of failure." Provided that you are learning from your mistakes, you're on the right track. I've had lots of experience with failure. I know it's painful. Keep in mind that your failures are not a reflection of you or your abilities. In keeping your focus close in front of you and not behind you you'll make lots of progress.

Holy crap, I sound like Anthony Robbins. In any case, I meant it all.

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