I am a rock, yet squishy on the inside...

I am finished with N. I initially called him Mr. It Will All End In Tears, but no tears will be shed. It's not worth it, he's not worth it, and I deserve better but I'm not looking anymore. I called him yesterday afternoon to see how he was doing and left a message on his machine. No call back. He has no intention of calling back or making any further contact, I'm sure. What an ass! Am I such a horrible
person to have as a friend??? Dating someone who lives 150 miles away is a ridiculous idea, but maintaining a friendship is much easier. Making the transition from semi-dating to being/becoming friends must be too difficult for some people.

I am sick and tired of being used and abused by people. I always let it happen. It will never happen again. I wish I could go back in time, back to early March when I was hanging out alone, having Twin Peaks parties alone and being perfectly happy and content alone. I think tomorrow I'll go to see "Fever Pitch." It seems pretty funny and upbeat, something I need at this point in my life. Unfortunately, it's a date movie, so maybe it's not that great of an idea. Then after seeing the movie, I'll try to accomplish something on my "Countdown to 30" list. I'm thinking about spending the night outside, but it may be a bit too chilly this time of the year. Maybe I'll buy that digital camera or iPod. I'll definitely be finishing "Atlas Shrugged" this weekend.