Friday, March 11, 2005

Too many unpleasant thoughts...

Yesterday I finished compiling the list of 100 things I need to accomplish my the time I turn thrity, and now I'm completely depressed. Nearly everything on the list is completely do-able, but I'm not sure I'll actually be able to do everything. It's probably that lovely time of the year again. I need to get another physical. There's something wrong with me, I can just tell.

I realize that this is nothing to take lightly and this time I'm not being a complete drama queen. If there is something wrong with me, and if that something wrong is cancer, I think it will be in the lymphoma family. I hate to say this, but I've been reading up on survival statistics and the pharmaceuticals portion of the situation recently. I'm also trying to stay upbeat, but there's something nagging me all the time. I'm having unpleasant dreams, I'm always anxiety-ridden, I don't care about my class anymore, I just really need some answers. Yesterday I had a run-of-the-mill sinus headache, but it got me thinking about what's going on/growing in my brain. Especially in the back of my head. I need to escape work for an afternoon for a top-to-bottom checkup.

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