Wednesday, May 04, 2005

A burning crock of shit...

A few weeks ago, I attended a fashion show fundraiser held by the mom's club of my high school. At each place at the table was a goodie bag filled with hand creams, makeup samples and perfume testers...including "Paris Hilton" the signature of the one and only. On the little card that held the sample is written this unbelievably lame statement. Here it is word for word, just as it is written:
Paris Hilton

Paris is sharing the spotlight
with her first perfume

Like Paris herself, it is Mysterious, Intriguing
and Beautiful. Rich in its appeal, it defines
that moment in time when powerful sensuality
and breath-taking beauty are captured in a
way that
all can enjoy

Share a bit of the magic
that is Paris Hilton.
Find out what it smells
like to be a Star


Um, okay. What the fuck does any of that bullshit mean? "Defines that moment in time when powerful sensuality and breath-taking beauty are captured..." thank God we've got scientists capable of manipulating space and time so all future generations can experience this shit!

As part of "Non-Workday #3" I cleaned my bathroom, found the sample and thought "What the hell, I'll give it a try." It sorta smells like Bounce original-scent dryer sheets and it has given me an awful burning rash on my wrists. My rash isn't "Mysterious, Intriguing and/or Beautiful." It's nasty, odd-colored and irritating...much like Paris Hilton! Hey, I just might be onto something here!

42 comments:

ago-go said...

hee hee hee...you sound like me when i finally succumbed and tried the Britney Spears perfume. surprisingly i didn't get a rash and it smelled much less like trailer trash than i thought it would. i'd like to be a writer of that bullshit promo crap, it seems like fun. hey, maybe that's a job we can both do!

did you check out your t-shirt? do you approve?

Vavoom said...

Believe it or not, I know what that crap smells like. I was at the department store and gave it a smell. I think they should have name it: "Paris Hilton presents Jolly Ranchers."

Jen said...

Ago--I was also surprised with the Britney perfume. It did have notes of "Electric Youth," which I must admit to wearing when I was eleven (alternating with Love's Baby Soft, of course.) It didn't rash me up as bad.

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