I don't know why I'm still signed up at match.com anymore. I think the fact that I'm still single and childless is an omen--I'm not cut out for a typical life. There is something unsettling to me about getting married and having children. Maybe it's the stability and the potential monotony. My parents keep suggesting I invest in a condo or house, but this idea doesn't appeal to me one bit. I prefer the ability to get up and leave at a moment's notice. I don't want to the roped into a commitment for life (or several years.)
Yesterday I spoke with an attorney (and former DEA agent) at my firm about her experiences at the FBI Academy (I think the DEA stole her away before she could be assigned as an FBI agent.) She told me all about training at the academy, all the running and swimming and firearms training. Basically, it's survivalist training and something about that enthralls me. I'm searching for a life less ordinary and I might actually be on the right track. Of course, if this doesn't pan out, I'll probably be crushed for weeks/months/years (but I'll have a decent degree to fall back on.) I do have the perfect lifestyle for the FBI--I'm not married, no children, nothing holding me down, no felonies on my record, clean bill of health, no debts, no really subversive activity and I'm willing and able to relocate without having to compromise with anyone else's life. Plus, I really want to make a difference in the world.
Who knows where I'll end up? I'm thinking about postponing my Stonehenge trip for a year (maybe as a graduation present to myself) and taking a trip to Washington DC instead. It will definitely be a tad bit cheaper, and I really should explore my own country before running off to Europe. Maybe something exciting and wonderful will happen to me there. I've always had a thing for clandestine government activities and secret agencies, probably thanks to Scarecrow and Mrs. King. I was completely addicted to that series in high school. I discovered it on the Family Channel and was instantly hooked. Just the thought of a divorced housewife (not too frumpy) having a chance encounter with a handsome and smart super-spy and becoming involved in an ultra-secret government agency unbeknownst to her family--and years later secretly marrying him (of course almost getting killed or kidnapped every week; oops I gave the end of the series away!) That would be a dream come true for me! Just imagine: I could be at the Smithsonian or Library of Congress, be taken aside by Mr. Secret-Agent-Man, given instructions, become a convenient package courier, show everyone that I have the right stuff and have the beginning of a life of adventure and intrigue that I've been dreaming of...But of course, I am deeply rooted in reality, and things like that rarely happen. I'd probably just be involved in a routine drug bust.
Imagine going back to one's high school reunion and replying to the "what do you do for a living" question with "If I told you, I'd have to kill you" and actually mean it!!!