Melancholy Jen...

I'm in a fairly depressed state. I've been living with my social anxiety disorder for as long as I can remember, and so far I've been able to cope with everything, within reason. Okay, sure I threw up in more than one speech class. Now I feel the need to do something completely un-characteristic of me. I need to ask a guy out. Out for drinks or something. If I were to do this, it would be like me asking him "Would it be alright if I threw up on your shoes?"

I can't do this. I've talked it over with Kate and Liz and they keep saying "ask him out. You'll regret it forever if you don't." Well, I'm full of regrets and I can't do a damn thing unless there are psychiatric drugs in my system. I'm too shy for this. I'll just regret everything and grow old completely alone, apart from the turtle. Why must my life be this shitty?