Smitten sigh...

Last night I saw "The Manchurian Candidate." Now I'm infatuated with Liev Schreiber. Damn, he could be doing a recitation of the phone book and I'd be riveted. Great movie, by the way. Now I'll have to see the original.

I gotta go!

About an hour ago, a major watermain broke somewhere downtown and now a nice chunk of Detroit is without water...and without air conditioning...and without flushable toilets!!!!!  The Powers That Be will be making the decision to close the building at noon.  I really hope they do.  Just imagine--the main is repaired and in a minute every toilet in a several block radius flushes 
simultaneously!

I wish I had passed on that second cup of tea.

Popularity, thy name is Jen...

Since Friday I have received 13 winks on my Match.com profile.  Damn!  Not to mention all the emails I've been getting.  Granted, most of the guys have been in their 40's with kids and a definite lack of education, but there have been some winners in the mix as well.

It's official--I WILL be 25 pounds lighter by Thanksgiving.  I WILL be thin and trim and awesome looking and everyone will be saying "Is that Jen?  She's been working really hard.  Gee, I wonder if she's single?  Where's she been hiding my whole life?"  Of course, in reality the comments will be something like "Eeww, she looks sick.  She lost all that weight and she's actually boy shaped!  No hips!  Ha ha ha ha."  Hell, having no hips is much better than the alternative.

Also, I have a new love: Buca di Beppo!!!!!  Oh my gawd.  The BEST Italian food on the whole planet.  Maybe the whole galaxy or solar system.  Maybe in the entire whole of existance!!!!!  YUMMMMM!!!

Agony of Defeat...

Well, after years of laughing off the suggestion and aggressively resisting the idea, I will be moving back with my parents.  Back to the wonderful world of Sterling Heights.  Gone will be the days of sitting around on MY couch, watching MY TV, in MY perfect world of solitude.  Of course, I will be looking forward to the days of living rent-free and relatively bill-free.  So, I guess it slightly balances out.  I'll be able to afford full-time grad school and gas in the tank!  I'll miss St. Clair Shores, but mostly just the water.  Now my priority is finding a reasonable self-storage facility to share with Kate.  Her new apartment's balcony isn't big enough for her patio set.

A Legally Blonde Moment...

Wonderful, just wonderful.  The law school idea has been implanted in my brain yet again.  Here's the current scenario: I could finish the paralegal degree in 1.5 years, secure a paralegal position (hopefully in the firm I've been working at for 3+ years,) then find a night program at one of the local law schools, where I would plow through the program in the standard 3 years.  I'd be in my early thirties and would hopefully be successful. 

Of course, this whole plan doesn't include where I'd be living, who'd be paying for the excessive educational costs, where I'd be institutionalized after melting down, etc...  And imagine everyone's surprise when, after I finally graduate, I decide to join the Peace Corps or decide to go back to art school for metalsmithing or something.

Maybe I should get back to the damn novel that's malingering in my mind.  I need some direction.  At least my plans are taking into account my vast, expansive, useless liberal arts background.  I wish I could go back in time, to high school and smack myself around.  I'd beg and plead with my younger self to study harder in science and math.  Spend less time reading Stephen King novels and more time on biology and chemistry.  Then I'd haunt my 18-year-old college self with the same advice, only tagging on the suggestion to drop political science and enroll in more science, math, anatomy and other practical courses that could result in a nursing degree, maybe.  And to party more...make more friends!!!  And not to waste my time on useless, going nowhere guys.  Oh well, too late for all that, I guess.

Fallen Angel Cake

I baked a cake last night for the American Heart Association bake sale, in conjunction with the Butzel summer outing.  The recipe from Weight Watchers  is "Cappuchino Angel Food Cake" but after it baked, and drooped, and ended up with a squishy, spongy, rubbery consistency, I shall refeer to it as "Fallen Angel Cake."
 
Speaking of fallen angels, I'm reading "Good Omens" again.  Does anyone know of a similar type novel with the same awesome humor and extremely engaging characters?  I really should read something else...I just love this book!!!  I just checked: almost 260 people have visited this page--how about a little input!?!?!

This is getting really old...

Well, C. called me on Saturday night, proposing to stop by with drinks.  I was also being spontaneous earlier that night as well by, in lieu of cleaning my apartment, deciding to take a sleeping pill.  I had to turn down his suggestion and he sounded disappointed.  I called him yesterday afternoon (left a message) suggesting that we meet for drinks or something later in the day...I'm still waiting for a response.  I'm trying not to let this bother me.
 
I'll be spending my time tonight baking a cappuchino angel food cake.  MMMmmm!  It's 2 Points per serving and I'm looking forward to using my electric mixer for the very first time!  Yay.  It's for the American Heart Association bake sale we're having at work tomorrow.  Maybe I'll take a walk around the block while it's baking, instead of torturing myself with the smell of baking cake wafting through my apartment.  
  
In other news, a perky, chipper, blonde attorney who left the firm in order to go into practice with her husband has returned to use some of our library materials.  She is sooooo nice and always remembers my name!  Heather is what I am working at becoming someday: thin, with a positive attitude, a child, a successful career and spouse.  I better keep on dreaming.  I'm currently slightly highlighted, 20 lbs. away from being bony thin, 2 years away from the paralegal degree and light years away from the husband and/or child.  *Insert heavy sighhhh here.* 

Grrr...

Okay, I've got guys calling me out of obligation, not of their own free will, others who aren't calling me at all when they said they would, perhaps because my number has been lost or set aside, perhaps because they JUST DON'T CARE, AND to top all things off, I haven't lost a single pound in two weeks. If I plateaued after only six or seven weeks, I will be supremely pissed!

I've gotta start eating more greens, less Goldfish crackers, and maybe running or at least walking once a day. I wonder how many Points the cheeseburger I have planned for dinner tonight will add up to? Maybe I'll have prunes as a side dish...that should balance everything out!!! :)

I'm back in the saddle again...

I'm not wasting any time anymore.  Last night I had a date with a very nice EYF (Eligible Young Fella--Mom saying, our acronym) at Fishbones on Jefferson.  He's a very nice, successful attorney with the same messed-up sense of humour as I have.  We shall now refer to him as C.  I'm forcing myself out of the quagmire of moodiness, surlyness and mild depression.  I'm almost back to "normal."

Which Harry Potter character are you???

Take the quiz: "What Harry Potter Character Are You?"

Hermione Granger
You are Hermione Granger. You are extremly smart, love to read, study, and are the top person in your class!

What am I going to do once I finish the fifth Harry Potter book??? I read number 4 last week and am steadily ploying through number 5. Maybe I'll return to Catch-22, but my mind isn't limber enough for that as of right now.

Lonliness is goodliness

I may be one of those people destined to be alone...and that's not all that bad. I don't have to have a pristine bathroom and bedroom because someone else likes it that way. I don't have to do all my dishes the minute I'm finished eating. I can be an adult with Sea Monkeys living on my kitchen windowsill. I can remain in bed all day, except to leave when nature calls or when pizza arrives. I will rent all the foreign films I never got a chance to see, out of the uncomfortable feeling of watching a movie alone (granted, I rarely have this feeling, but there's "Little Otik" still waiting for me...thanks Luis.)

I've also started writing with full force. According to Jennifer Weiner, one of my all-time favorite authors, she has it all worked out: basically in order to write a kick-ass novel, one needs to have the following: 1. The Unhappy Childhood. 2. The Miserable Love Life. 3. Major in Liberal Arts (but not necessarily creative writing.) 4. Get a Job (not an MFA.) 5. Write to Please Yourself. 6. Get a Dog. 7. Get Published. 8. Find an Agent. 9. Be a Smart Consumer. 10. Read. I have 6 out of 10. Not too shabby. Maybe the turtle and the Sea Monkeys combined can assume the amount of responsibility a puppy requires? Probably not.

Sniff...

It's difficult to write anything when one is depressed.

Welcome to Reality...

Well, it looks like things between M. and myself are pretty much finished, even before anything really started. I'm fairly crushed even though nothing is certain, but for the most part, I'm sure, even though my mind is probably twisted and all is still good for now. I bet he never liked me in a serious way. On Friday we went to see Fahrenheight 9/11 and hung out with his friends. At dinner, we shared an appetizer sampler and we seemed like a beginning-dating couple. After the movie we hung out with some of his friends and had coffee, then afterwards I hung out with him at his house and we talked about everything until 4:00 AM, even though I was in a really shitty mood. Then I crashed on his couch. Seriously, we talked about everything, even things he probably hadn't intended on sharing with me. Then in the morning, he made me coffee and tea As I was leaving, he didn't even want to kiss me goodbye. Maybe it was the fear of coffee breath?

After seeing him for a month, he seems distant and not interested in seeing me. Maybe that's just the way he is, who knows? Maybe he's not a chit-chatty type of guy. I plan on inviting him over to my place this Friday for dinner (I'll cook a turkey or something) and ask him where all this is going, or if he is interested in me at all. After a month, I would like to know if I'm wasting my time. Of course, maybe he's not sure, but I'd like to know if he is at all interested, even a little. To be perfectly honest, he doesn't seem to mind paying for all my meals, drinks and movie tickets, so that's something. Time is precious and I wasted more than my share on Luis--that's for sure. I don't want that to happen again. I'd like to know if I should put away my feelings for M. if they aren't based on a mutual attraction type of thing.

Even if he doesn't want to be anything more than friends, maybe that's just what I need--a friend. I have way too few friends these days and my life is wasting away spent being lonely.

Call me Boney Bones Davis

Follow the instructions below for the genuine thrill that comes with discovering your blues name: From the first list, take the name using the initial of your first name. From the second list, do the same with your middle name. From the third, your surname.

First List:

A=Fat; B=Muddy ; C=Crippled; D=Old; E=Texas; F=Hollerin'; G=Ugly; H=Brown; I=Happy; J=Boney; K=Curly; L=Pretty; M=Jailhouse; N=Peg Leg; O=Red; P=Sleepy; Q=Bald; R=Skinny; S=Blind; T=Big; U=Yella; V=Toothless; W=Screamin'; X=FatBoy; Y=Washboard; Z=Steel-Eye

Second List:

A=Bones; B=Money; C=Harp; D=Legs; E=Eyes; F=Lemon; G=Killer; H=Hips; I=Lips; J=Fingers; K=Boy; L=Liver; M=Gumbo; N=Foot; O=Mama; P=Back;
Q=Duke; R=Dog; S=Bad Boy; T=Baby; U=Chicken; V=Pickles; W=Sugar; X=Cracker; Y=Tooth; Z=Smoke

Third List:

A=Jackson; B=McGee; C=Hopkins; D=Dupree; E=Green; F=Brown; G=Jones; H=Rivers; I=Malone; J=Washington; K=Smith; L=Parker; M=Lee;
N=Thompkins; O=King; P=Bradley; Q=Hawkins; R=Jefferson; S=Davis; T=Franklin; U=White; V=Jenkins; W=Bailey; X=Johnson; Y=Blue; Z=Allison

Pure time-wasting joy at its finest!

Mmmm...Bacon

How do I love thee, Bacon? Let me count the ways. Ordered as a side dish with toast. Ordered as a side dish alone, wrapped unceremoniously in a sheet of aluminum foil. Purchased in one pound increments and cooked until crispy on the George Foreman Grill; fat and drippings saved to use as suet for the birds in the winter. Geez! I have such an incredible craving for this wonder meat!!!

And now for something completely different. This past holiday weekend was quite nice.

Friday--spent with Kate at home. We went shopping at Marshal's, then spilt an appetizer sampler plate at Pizzeria Uno. Fun greasy stuff.
Saturday--Hung out at home for a while, returned to my place, cleaned, ran errands, shopped, watched movies and read.
Sunday--Cleaned house and made Rice Krispie Treats. My friend Penny had a fireworks party, so I introduced M. to everyone. Good food. Deep Fried Turkey!
Monday--Helped M. plant several shrubs in his backyard. Then we had La Shish. Yum! After sweating and getting filthy and dift covered, he said I still smelled nice. Awwww.

Here's me in a nutshell

According to the Meyers-Brigs personality test, I'm a INFP.

INTROVERTED-Applies to the way we interact with the world. Introverts are people whose thoughts and ideas are drawn inward. This type scan the external environment and make evaluations based on their inner ideas and mental concepts. They derive their energies from these inner ideas. It is important for them to take time to study and reflect on a subject to get the right idea, before taking action. This type is able to grasp and accept a moral principle in its abstract form. Introverts are territorial and desire space. They draw their energies from activities where they can be alone to meditate or activities that require few people. Introverts can experience a sense of loneliness when they are in a crowd. Some are the most alone when surrounded by people, especially strangers. This type can enjoy being around people, but it can drain their energies. They need to find quiet places and solitary activities where they can meditate and recharge. Many introverts achieve the ability to extravert, but they never become extraverts. Introverts enjoy their private time, and if this is easily invaded, they learn to develop a high level of concentration so as to shut out the external world. Many view them as great listeners, but they may view others as taking advantage of this. They may have problems expressing themselves and are sometimes labeled by others as shy. Many times they will have to rehearse things before they say them. This type may wish to get their ideas out more forcefully and like to state their thoughts and feelings without interruption. They resent ones that blurt out something they were just about to say.

INTUITIVE-Applies to the way we take in information. Intuitive types look for the possibilities in life. What is possible is always in front of them, pulling at them like a magnet. Intuitive types are attracted to fantasy, fiction, and the future. They may enjoy figuring out how things work just for the sheer pleasure of doing so. This type is attracted to pun and word games. They are masters at metaphors and similes. Intuitive tends to think of several things at once and because of this are sometimes labeled as absentminded. This type likes to look at the big picture. They try to read between the lines, not accepting things at face value. Intuitive types tend to trust their hunch, their gut feeling, and this usually prove right, since they are highly in tune with their intuitive powers, their sixth sense. They are creative and imaginative, but are sometimes viewed as dreamers.

FEELING-Applies to the way we come to decisions. Feeling types make decisions based on how others feel. They are empathetic and sympathetic to others needs. This type puts themselves out for others, putting others needs above those of their own. Feeling types value and almost insist on others living in harmony. They will avoid conflict at all cost. This type tries to please others. They will take a comment back if they say something that offends someone else. Feeling types are usually friendly, tactful, and enjoy contributing to the welfare of others. They are personable, being more interested in people than in things.

PERCEPTIVE-Applies to the way we structure our lives. Perceptive types put much value on the open ended. They do not like to come to a conclusion unless forced to and then may still be uncomfortable with its closure. Being aware of how many factors are involved and how much is still unknown, they are terrified at making a rash decision. They hope they can solve a problem simply by understanding it better, by seeing it from all sides and eventually being able to see the thing to do. They love to explore the unknown. They don't like to be pinned down, to plan a task, to make definite statements. They prefer to be spontaneous, to live for the moment. They like to make-work fun or they lose interest in it. They don't believe in deadlines, but use them instead as alarm clocks allowing them to pick up spurts of energy at the last minute and accomplish the task. In conversations they can jump from subject to subject, depending on whatever enters their mind, or whatever enters the room.

PERSONALITY PROFILES

INFPs-live their lives focusing on their values. They know what is important to them and protect this at all cost. Their values focus on the optimistic verses the pessimistic, although they are often conscience of the negative. To understand the INFP is to understand their cause. They can work tirelessly toward a cause that deems worthy. They will quietly let others know what is important to them, and rarely will they give up on their purpose. They will go along with the crowd, sometimes even letting decisions be made for them, until someone violates their value system. Then they will dig their heels into the ground and will speak up for their feelings, insisting their values be followed.

INFPs are withdrawn and are sometimes hard to get to know. Some may view them as shy. But those that take the time to get to know them will find them warm and gentle, with a surprising sense of humor. They care deeply for those they consider special friends. Putting forth-unusual sacrifices to help such individuals. They often have a subtle, tragic motif running through their lives -- inner pain and unease which others seldom detect.

INFPs are creative and are constantly seeking out new possibilities. They have a gift with language and usually will express this by means of writing. Their intuitive preference supplies the imagination and their feeling preference giving them the need to communicate. They are gifted at interpreting symbols - being drawn to metaphors and similes. Because of these gifts they often write in lyric fashion
INFPs work must be more than just a paycheck, it must be fun and must contribute to something that is important to their values. To be the most productive they need a sense of purpose behind their job. They often have to look at the large picture in order to see how specific programs fit in. They are adaptable to changes and to new ideas. They work well with others being conscience of others feelings and relating with most, though not always vocally. They like to work with others who are cooperative and who share their same set of values. They strive for harmony and dislike conflict.

INFPs treasure their privacy and may keep a lot to themselves. They need time and space for reflection. Others usually get along well with them, although they may not know them intimately. INFPs may not always be organized. They may tend to lose things or to forget appointments. Only when they see the importance of organization in a task will they strive to work at it in an organized way to get it done. They can be extremely patient with complicated issues, but may become impatient with routine and details.

INFPs strive for perfection, and this is especially the case when using their feeling preference. They may have trouble finishing a project, because they never find it is good enough. Even when the project must be finished, they may feel the need to go back and improve on it later.

Reluctantly INFPs may accept leadership roles. They lead with their values being their guide. They do not aggressively lead people, but rather work with people to develop their talents and to independently achieve their goals. They have a hard time criticizing others, but will try to motivate them by their appreciation and praise. When conflicts arise, they avoid directly approaching the situation, but would rather wait for the others to work out the situation themselves.

INFPs view leisure activity as very important. However they may have a difficulty separating it from work. If they have a special skill they use at work, they may use this skill in their leisure time to help friends, family or those in need. When they are interested in pursuing a new leisure activity, they may spend a great deal of time researching this activity. Many INFPs enjoy activities that are done alone such as reading, listening to music, or gardening. This gives them the opportunity for reflection and meditation. They may also enjoy social activities with those they feel close to. When they want to be social they can be outgoing, charming and quiet funny, making them a pleasure to have around.

INFPs present a calm and pleasant face to the world around them. Because they are reserved, they may be over looked. But to those that know them they have a view into their warmth and concern and their deep commitments to their values.



OCCUPATIONAL CHOICES

Actor

Artist

Architect

Church Worker

College Professor: Humanities/Art

Counselor

Editor

Educational Consultant

Employment Development Specialist

English Teacher

Fine Arts Teacher

Human Resources Development Specialist

Journalist

Librarian

Minister/Priest

Missionary

Musician

Psychiatry

Psychologist

Religious Educator

Researcher

Social Scientist

Social Worker

Speech Pathologist

Writer: poet/Novelist


STRENGTHS:

They can do a good job of blending production with compassion for the work force. They enjoy giving freedom for each to develop according to their own personality and are willing to give commendation and have a listening ear for new ideas. They are able to communicate well with others on a one to one basis.


They are intellectually astute, competent, and enriched with idealism.


They have a high need to be of service to others. They enjoy working toward causes they believe in.


They work well alone, and are faithful to their duties and obligations.


WEAKNESSES:

When the workplace becomes negative, they may become restless. They can have mood swings between stubbornness and criticism. This is uncharacteristic of their nature and is an indicator of stress.


They are perfectionists. They may be self-critical. They feel there is never enough time to do the job right. They must recognize when to quit, and live with a less than perfect product. They also must realize that others will never fully meet up to their expectations.


They may become discouraged if their work is not geared toward something they believe in. They want control of their projects, and if they lose control they can lose interest.


They may have trouble working in a competitive environment.


They may become unrealistic when planning a project. They may become inflexible when requested to change some of their ideas.



CAREER NEEDS

They need work that allows them to express their vision, and lets them work within their own set of values and beliefs.


They need work that gives them control over the product and the process of creating it, allowing them time to fully develop their ideas


They need work that gives them a private space and uninterrupted time, but allows them from time to time to meet with ones they respect, and bounce their ideas off them.


They need work that gives them a flexible schedule, with no restraint to rules and regulations, and allows them to work as they feel inspired.


They need work that is done in a tension free environment, with other creative caring individuals.


They need work that let them be original, and that encourages personal growth and rewards it.


They need work that gives them time to do the best possible job, and that doesn't call for them to do presentations of their ideas before large crowds.


They need work that lets them help others to learn how to grow and develop their full potential.


They need work that allows them to develop deep one to one relationships with people, letting them understand others and discover what makes them tick.


They need work that allows them to fulfill their ideas, without being limited by money, time, or other obstacles.



IN THE WORKPLACE

INFPs enjoy working alone, treasuring the opportunity for contemplation. They enjoy variety in whatever they do. They enjoy taking on new projects and activities, but have a tendency to take on too many things at once. They get a sense of satisfaction from the fact that nothing is constant, which means they can positively influence a cause in a positive or constructive way.

INFPs are loyal and industrious team players. They work hard to achieve team harmony and make their work meaningful. They are encouraged from approval from others, but when criticized they may be deeply hurt, taking such criticism personally.

INFPs can be powerful leaders when dealing with people and drawing people together to achieve their purpose.

INFPs lead with people in mind. They look to the individual growth and development and will look for a way to encourage and support such growth. They may tend to relate with a few special people, being drawn to their causes and goals. They quietly encourage these individuals to achieve whatever they set out to do.

INFPs manage in a very quiet unassuming way, getting personally involved with individuals within the organization. They are at their best dealing with people, drawing out their outstanding qualities. They are naturally tuned into the motivations and emotions of others, having a gift at understanding individual differences.

Because INFPs are focused in on people's emotions and motivations, they become aware of and get involved in their co-workers personal problems. They may feel obligated at resolving disagreements and conflicts among employees, trying to create an atmosphere of harmony. INFPs listen carefully and intently to others, giving them individual attentions and responding with the proper feedback for the needed situation. They masterfully show appreciation and give praise when they find the appropriate opportunity. they direct their praise toward human accomplishment. They are alert to individual potential and look for ways to help individuals meet that potential.

There's a new sheriff in town!

I'm trying to make my job seem more important. The librarian will be in Cape Cod for the next two weeks leaving little ol' me in charge. Fortunately, it's the slow time of year and I've been on a cleaning kick.

I've been working on the Introduction to Law take-home final exam for the past few days and it's due at 7:00. Unfortunately, "working on" doesn't exactly mean finishing, or even making a dent. Good thing for me--I'll channel all my nervous energy and procrastination skills for a big brain power explosion due to hit in a few hours. I'll work through lunch and for an hour after work. I don't think there's too much to worry about.