Barely alive...

It's been about 10 months since my whole life was turned upside down (job loss, unemployment, employment agencies, temping, serious depression, rejection) and things actually seem to be on an upswing again! I'm working like a dog almost every morning, 40 hours a week, and I have dreams of bigger and better but I'm still getting back on my feet again. I'm actually making money, getting unexpected tips, and am putting money in my savings account again! Everything is dandy except:

I'm constantly sick and am sleeping 12 hours a day (or night when I have a day off.) I guess there are tradeoffs.

Financially, I'm finally stablizing! I'm planning on going to a local, well-known culinary institute starting this spring (I'll just be taking a prerequsite biology class, but still that's something!) and I'm planning vacations to both Calgary, AB and England. Since I have no real social life to speak of and very few expensive habits, I'll be able to stash away enough and even consider finding my own place one of these years!

Es gibt saurkraut in meinem leiderhosen

Hallo liebe Leser,

Als Änderung des Schrittes und als Weise, herauf mein Leben zu würzen, ist diese Eintragung auf Deutsch. Ich bin, Bohren müde, und ich habe sie mit Arbeit gehabt. Meine Füße verletzt und ich leben nicht bis zu meinem vollen Potential. Alles, das ich in meiner Ersatzzeit tue, schläft. Das genug beschwert sich für jetzt.

-- Jen

I got a new job!

Yes, I am now officially employed.

I am now a partner in a HUGE multi-national corporation. Steady, reliable work. Steady, reliable pay, stock options, benefits, no dealing with attorneys on a daily basis. Also present are opportunities for growth and advancement (unlike my former position,) and tuition reimbursement.

And, I get a pound of free coffee every week.

Can anyone guess where I'm working?

Happy New Year!

Simple math...

Here's a dandy explanation of why I'm rarely posting anymore:

Combine the following:
A dollop of unemployment
A pinch of seasonal affective disorder (SAD)
A generous helping of holiday depression
A handful of grieving the unexpected loss of a very close family member
Drizzle in a teaspoon of pathetic singleness
and for an added crunch, add a touch of no longer being able to afford my phone bill.

Damn, I'm good...

I'm unemployed again.

Yee haw...

I am employed! Starting Tuesday, I will no longer be without work! Yippee! Okay, reality check: this is a temp. position (for about a month,) it's in a field I have absolutely no experience working in, and it's less than full time...who cares? I'm technically employed!!!

Now, I'm looking for a part-time gig for Christmas spending money.

Happy Halloween...

Melancholy baby...

I'm still gone, there's nothing good in my life, but I'm still waiting for the storm clouds to blow away.

I'm trying to get out of this funk...although it's obiviously more than a funk by now.

Maybe buying a Halloween costume will help, but I doubt it.

I miss dying my hair. After thinking about my past hair color choices, I realized the only shade my hair has never been is blue.

But I'm not playing with the color anymore. My natural poo-brown is fine for now.

Damn You, Uric Acid!!

My thumb isn't broken. It's not arthritic either. It's gout.

Damn, I keep getting sexier every day.

This is the bridesmaid dress!!!

Here's the bridesmaid dress for Kate's wedding. It looks great on both Joyce and I (the 2 maids.) Check it out:


Burnt orange looks even better in person. I'm very excited. It's realtively affordable as well. I was ordered to keep my hair dark brown for the occasion so I'll match the dress and the event's autumn theme.

NOooooooooooooo!!!!!!!

Michael Penn had a concert in Ann Arbor last night!!!! I totally missed it!!!! DAMN IT ALL TO HELL!!!!!

That's the only show I was looking forward to seeing. I guess I checked on his tour a few days too late.



The last concert I attended was R.E.M. in 1995. I'm way long overdue. But I wanted to see him!!!!!!

Yet another incentive to lose weight...

I need this. I don't just want this, I NEED THIS! I could even cross off an entry on the countdown to 30 list with this bikini.

Note: the picture is small, but it's a Tabasco hot sauce bikini.

This one's just for you Miss Ago...

I'm the ugly one on the left. This was quite possibly the worst I've ever felt and looked. I'm about 25 pounds lighter these days and not quite as gross-looking, but I'm permanently scarred for life thanks to these dresses. The fact that the sun was in my eyes didn't help much. Sadly, this is a good picture from that day. The other picture I have accentuates the fact that the dress didn't fit, it wrinkled really strangely, and I shouldn't have been allowed to drink as heavily as I did that night.

Also, the dyed-to-match shoes self-destructed before the end of the night.

So, that's why my car smells moldy...

I was in a hit-and-run accident a while back and my driver's side rear bumper was slightly dinged. I didn't really think much of it. Most of my thinking was dedicated to the bitch who drove off.

Flash forward to this afternoon. I was trying to find the source of the moldy smell when I discovered several inches of standing water where my spare tire resides. The tire is slimy, the tire changing kit is gross and for the past several months, rainwater has been accumulating in my trunk. I rarely keep anything in my trunk aside from an emergency kit housed in a milk crate, so I never knew of any serious dampness issues.

My dad and I worked on the problem for a few hours this afternoon, before the torrential rains moved into the area. Water just pours in! Now I'm sure I've got black, moldy lung thanks to the fucking bitch who rear-ended me. That's a bit of a stretch, but it's true.

Clarification...

A one-mile portion of the marathon is run through the Detroit/Windsor Tunnel under the Detroit River.

I just returned from seeing "Just Like Heaven." Maybe I should try to get knocked into a coma. Maybe then things will start happening for me.

*sigh*

Half-marathon: Not gonna happen...

Way back in April I registered for the Detroit Marathon's lovely international, partially underwater half-marathon. Way back in April I was semi-healthy and had a super metabolism and energy. Five months later, I'm sad to say my metabolism has stalled and I've gained six pounds purely due to a semi-sedentary lifestyle and NOT my diet.

Luckily, I was able to switch to the 5K. It's a lovely little run and each year I manage to shave minutes off my previous year's time and I have the unique opportunity to beat Kwame Kilpatrick (and his posse's) time by at least 20 minutes. When Dennis Archer was mayor of Detroit, he ran w/o bodyguards and he was an impressive runner. Not Kwame.

Good and Bad...

Good: I've started thinking about National Novel Writing Month (or NaNoWriMo) which starts in November. Here's the link. I signed up for it last year and wrote about 500 words, instead of the 50,000. I truly sucked, but not this year!

Bad: The depression/blahs/unemployment blues have started manifesting themselves in my clothing. I've fallen in love with my yoga pants. This is really terrible, but since I'm rarely leaving the house and shunning the company of others (except for seeing movies occasionally) this is not really a problem.

Also, I must let it be known: today is National Talk Like a Pirate Day.

Also, also: The wedding date has been officially set for September 30th. We (mom and me) have to average a weight loss of about 2 pounds a month from now on. The dresses may be rust colored. Very interesting...

Leave me alone...

Yesterday evening I made my monthly sojourn to the movies to finally see "The 40-Year-Old-Virgin." I believe that the parts of the movie I was completely able to concentrate on totally rocked. Needless to say, something went wrong. Something always goes wrong.

Before the movie started, I grabbed my book and hung around a local strip-mall coffee shop. Just me and my book, not bothering anyone. I didn't notice anyone and wasn't trying to be noticed, but unfortunately I was wearing my new, very red cardigan which went soooo well with the 60 degree temps we've had recently.

Upon entering the theatre (which was a bit smaller than usual since the movie had been out for weeks already) I found a seat away from most of the moviegoers, sat and began reading again (hey, it's what I do!) Then a non-descript, youngish-looking guy asks me what I was reading, (a just-okay werewolf novel) then said he saw me at the coffee place and was going to talk to me but got nervous. I, not being used to talking to people, didn't say anything. Then he moves to sit right next to me and I discover that he smells like a mixture of unwashed hair, dirty clothes and coffee breath. He then goes on to tell me what he's reading at home, and that he doesn't read much and couldn't "get" the Da Vinci Code. Ummm, okay. He asks me what I do, I say I'm in between jobs and he goes on and on and on and on about his construction job. I listen politely and my ears slightly perk up when he says he's looking to go back to school. For what? Truck drivers training. Apparently, it's a family tradition.

Finally the previews begin and I LOVE previews...BUT HE WON'T STOP YAMMERING! He asked me if I saw Transporter II, to which I answered I hadn't heard of the first Transporter movie. I was being polite and cordial, but he wouldn't get the hint that I wanted him to shut up and go away. Then a preview with Jim Carrey is shown and the guy says he's his favorite actor. Trying to be nice and agreeable, I said I enjoyed "Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind" which, of course, he didn't understand.

Finally the movie started and I somehow became one with the side of my chair and armrest farthest away from the guy, who, for reasons I shall never be able to understand, kept offering me sips of his pop. Ugh, gross. And he had an unfiltered sense of humor. Subtle humor and real gross-out humor got the same barking, belly-laugh.

For approximately 1.5 hours, I was partially paying attention to the movie but mostly thinking about when I should leave the theater under the guise of a potty break and not return. Yet, the nice girl prevailed and I watched the rest of the movie, which was extremely funny. I'll have to go see it again when I can be guaranteed I'll be left alone.

As the movie ended, he followed me out and forced his number on me. I didn't have a pen (damn, yeah right.) so he made sure I put the number directly into my phone and call him so he'd have my number. He backed me into the wall and watched as I entered all the numbers correctly. I got his number and quickly disappeared into the crowd. He will not be getting a call from me.

Okay, some might think I was being an antisocial bitch, but I got such a creepy vibe from this guy it wasn't even funny. I still have the creeps from the guy. I'm beginning to think he followed me from the coffee place. Why can't I meet a nice, Woody Allen fan??? A nice guy who wouldn't even think of sharing pop with a total stranger.

13 Months...

I have approximately 13 months until the wedding. In that time, I will need to lose a ton of weight. Thanks to "My Virtual Model" this is what I could look like at 100 pounds:


If only this model could be a reliable prognosticator...I would have a real, living-person skin tone and my fear of midrif-baring clothing will have disappeared.

Unfortunately, my hair will still look like shit.