This is an email I'm mailing to all the attorneys in the Detroit office of my firm tomorrow morning. We have a little problem...
It has come to my attention that the library shelves are getting a little bare. Maybe the books are sprouting legs and running away. Maybe some attorneys are snatching certain popular titles and hiding them away in their offices for personal use. Perhaps someone (I'm not naming any names, of course) likes to read a page or two of Martin, Dean and Webster volume 2.100 in the lavatory at home. Whatever the cause, who knows, I don't care. The only thing for certain--we need these missing books to be returned.
"What can I do to help restore the library to it's original full-shelved splendor???", you may ask. It's simple. On Friday morning before 10:00, leave any library books that may have wandered into your office outside your door. I'll pick them up and take note of who contributed. One of these names will be picked at random after the collection is compete and the winner will receive a souvenir (of the fermented molasses or sugar cane variety) from Candace's upcoming Grand Cayman vacation trip.
Thanks for your support,